On Sunday we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.
We were surprised and touched by how many people remembered our day last year.
Family, friends, and coworkers have all gone back and forth between “Already a year?” and “Only a year??” And my response has been the same. We’ve had so many changes in our first year of marriage. We added a dog, got a house, received new sibling-in-laws through family weddings, we’ve each made cross-country road trips individually and traveled together. We’ve been so blessed. Many people say the first year of marriage is rough and I would bet there’s just as many who say it’s not, but I think that one of the things I’m learning the most about marriage is how it’s made up of two individuals who can’t be boxed into moldings or expectations.
For as much as it’s easy for one couple, it may be hard for another, but no matter what experience, the experience itself – just because it is between two independent people – can’t simply be categorized into “easy” or “hard” or any other this or that such thing. In a way, all of that is neither here nor there. No one can predict the ways that marriage will be hard for one person because no one experiences their life, the joining of two lives, and the unpredictability of life in the exact same way. I can’t even remember where I saw the quote, and it’s kind of silly but “You are you and that is your super power.” The same principal applies. We spend so much of our time focusing on weaknesses and ways we fall short when we should really be learning to let our strengths meld and our talents spread into other areas of life.
I can’t say that we’ve had a ‘super hard’ year, but we’ve been learning how to make big decisions together, spend (or not spend) money, work towards goals, and communicate. We’ve been learning how to appreciate each other, show love in ways that the other needs, and give each other the space needed to grow and flourish. We’ve been learning what it means “to have and to hold” each other. For each couple this is different and for each couple, no matter the perceived difficulty, this process takes patience, growth, and stretching of the heart. That’s what this year has been. And we’re both the better for it.
On Sunday we cut into our year old cake and it tasted great – neither of us remember having any cake on our wedding day and we took it as a sign of good things to come. Cheers to one year down and forever to go!