{30} into words

SUP - Orlando

{a semi-dramatic, post birthday reflection for your reading pleasure…}

Last week I traveled to Southwest Florida to celebrate turning 30. I came home and promptly got the head cold sickness my husband had before I left. Instead of getting back into a rhythm at home, I’ve been going to bed super early and blowing my nose for 15 minutes straight upon waking. (Is this what 30 is?)

And so it begins, a new decade, THIRTY.
And so it ends, my twenties.

Hello to new adventures, to starting again. Hello to a new confidence gained only through trial and error, sweat and tears, falling down and getting back up.

Goodbye to uncertainty, to some degree, the kind that comes when you’re young and not yet on your way, when you run around constantly and do all the things. Goodbye to secondary things, because you’ve found your primary things (and by things I mostly mean people – others and yourself – and your daily rhythm). Goodbye to the “maybe tomorrow’s” and “I’ll have time for that later” – to be replaced by a “Now, or it’s not important.”

Hello to new dreams, to a life that unfolds with pleasant surprises, to unchartered (and unknown) bends in the river and less mapped out roads following your master plan. Hello to letting go of everything that is not the true, the good, and the beautiful in your everyday life.

Here we are, 30! So old. So not old. I remember when 30 was old, and I had no idea where I would be.

Here’s to the end of an era – the decade of the twenties with all its ups and downs, all the job changes (and changes and changes), all the travel and visiting of friends everywhere (Seattle, Portland, Chicago, Denver, NYC, FL, DC, Virginia, Boston, New Hampshire, Nebraska, Las Vegas, Texas, MSP, SD, Duluth – did I really go all those places?). Here’s to the late nights, the early mornings, the long drives. Here’s to the expensive drinks out you bought (little did you know, you were buying them for all your thirties when you would rather stay in), to all the burned rice, to the extra shot of expresso. To all the weddings and additions of family and friends you never would have picked for you life, but there they are – perfectly mixed in, blending in as if you never would have lived without them. To disconnecting and letting go of some friends (the ones I never could have let go 10 years ago) and to reconnecting and holding on to other friends (the ones I never would have fought for 10 years ago).

Here’s to the beginning of a new chapter that probably won’t be as much of a roller coaster. Here’s to the quiet strength beneath the surface, to the strengthening of roots. Here’s to planting seeds and taking care of my own particularities, to mastering skills through patience and practice. Here’s to gentle strength, the kind that can move mountains, the kind that comes from growing pains and sacrifice. Here’s to adventure in a new form, to intentional travel, to expanding the heart, to pushing new limits.

Here’s to 30!

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